leticya's blog

09/09/2012

#safari #indonesia #zoo #zebra #animal

#safari #indonesia #photography #animal #eating #soft

a fake smile

I smile and laugh everyday. But It doesn't mean that I'm okay. I smile and make you think that I'm happy, I laugh, so you don't see me cry, I let you go by your style, and even if it kills me.I can smile when I think something's funny. I do smile in photos. If I'm not smiling, that doesn't mean I'm sad. Some people think I'm sad and they'll say "You need to smile!" But I don't need to smile. Why should I smile if I'm feeling emotionally tired with all this fucking bullshit?Anyway people who smile all the time are fake, or maybe they aren't fake themselves but they maybe lying to themselves or something like that. I know it's a forced smile. Like what I do everyday. Lying with my fake smile and screaming "I'm okay" to everyone I meet. Sometimes it hurts more to smile in front of everyone, then to cry all alone. Because I just want to be known as a girl who always smiled. The one who could brighten up my-friend's day, even if I couldn't brighten my own.I know how I hurt when I try to blend but I can't. I know how I hurt myself on the outside and try to kill the thing inside. How can you understand me when I can't understand myself? It's like I realized that way down inside. I've always been lonely for something. But I don't know what for. It's like everybody in the world wants something. Only they never really know exactly what it is. They just keep finding out what it's not. You know how, when you turn off the TV or you come out of some concert, and everything just feels empty? Like you thought that would be what you wanted, and then it wasn't?You look at me and think, 'she's so happy' but there's so much behind this little smile that you will never know. I'm just tired of pretending to be something that I'm not.

29/07/2012

R.I.P. the 12 people at a midnight showing of the dark knight rises in denver

R.I.P to the twelve people killed this morning at a midnight showing of the Dark Knight Rises in colorado. A gunman wnt into the theater with a gas grenade and killed these people, during a scene in the movie with a gunfire (at first the people in the theater thought the extra gunfire was in the movie). The police are currently investigating, and we should pray for the families and friends of those killed and hope it never happends Again.

05/07/2012

if i die young

04/07/2012

a conversation

"shouldn't be complaining leticya! keep stronger! you can do it!" (ง'̀⌣'́)ง

"but i'm tired acting like everything is okay :'( i want they understand my feeling, but they can't"

tired )':

sometimes I feel like I'm tired of my life.

please, understand me!

I need to be understood.

30/06/2012

we love daddy

why daddy left us? we still need you dad... I'm not willing to lose you... why so fast? okay from now, I promise I'll take care my sister, my brother, and my mom, I'll make you happy... rest in peace dad

21/06/2012

quote

People have scars, in all sorts of unexpected places. Like secret road maps of their personal histories, diagrams of all their old wounds. Most of our wounds heal, leaving nothing behind but a scar, but some don’t. Some wounds we carry with us everywhere, and even though the cut’s long gone, the pain still lingers.♥

quote

I just can’t put up that fake smile that everyone thinks is real, i just can’t tell anyone i’m happy when i’m not, its eating me alive telling everyone i’m happy and putting on that fake smile to satisfy everyone…